Life As A Maid

I've said in my last post that since returning to Melbourne, I have taken up a full time (unpaid) job as a maid.  Yes, please call me kakak.

Damon pissed on our comforter and bed this morning at about 4.30am after refusing to use his new upgraded Litter Kwitter dish.  Woo-hoo... fan-bloody-tastic.

Anyways, Ahimi and I quarantined Pissy Paws Damon in the bathroom while we stripped the bed.  I started washing the pissy part of the massive, heavy comforter and the mattress liner in the bathtub and Mil loaded the bed sheet and comforter cover into the laundry.

Damon is mewing his head off because he doesn't like being left alone in the bathroom.  I ask Ahimi if she will clean the mattress bit that has pee on it and she is super reluctant, says "but I don't know where the spot is." (Umm... the wet patch?  Duh)  Fine, whatever, too early in the morning to argue.  I know Princess Ahimi doesn't like washing floors or giving Damon a bath ("It's your cat" she would say, and yes, I have no problem there, but just for amusement's sake, see Index below) so I tell her I'm going to do that too, if she'll take over soaking the comforter and mattress liner.  Princess gives me the stink eye again, looking super unwilling, saying "Which part is it?  What have you done?"

Good grief.  I just tell her which parts I've washed and go off to shower Damon and desanitise the bathroom floor with all the pissy paw prints.  After that I try to make adjustments to Damon's toilet - I am greeted by a sour-faced Ahimi saying "The wet quilt is too heavy, you HAVE to help me."

So I drop my stuff to come and help her, but guess what???  As soon as I stepped in the bathtub, Ahimi leaves and refuses to help, claiming she already washed it, now it's my turn to rinse it even though she told me it was too heavy so she needed two people to lift it.  Great, so you can't do it alone but I can.  Super.  I have been seriously duped.  (Like the laundry a few weeks ago - asking me to "get started" with the five loads of laundry while she went for driving (which I stupidly did), then coming home and plopping down in front of her iPad and not lifting a finger to help even though I still had 2 loads to rinse and hang dry.  So yes, Ahimi, in case you were planning of accusing me of "offering" to do the laundry too, you KNOW that is so not true).

Fun, fun, fun.  So after first-washing the comforter and mattress liner, then giving Damon a bath and desanitising the bathroom floor, I rinsed out the back-breakingly heavy, soaked comforter and mattress liner while Ahimi is playing with her iPad in the living room.  I then I trudged into the bathroom and started washing the floors with Dettol.  I go to the bathroom to find towels to wipe the floors to find that Ahimi has locked herself in the outside bathroom and is taking a leisurely shower (with the rinsed comforter and mattress liner in the tub and getting showered and wet again with her gross shower water).  Nice.

Finally, I am done at 8.15am.  I feel too pissed off to sleep, so I sit in front of my laptop and blog.  Damon, Mr Pissy Pants, comes and sits in front of me purring, expecting Damon time after being "ignored" while I was washing and cleaning.  Sigh, Damon, you are just too cute and too sweet... I give him a hug and cuddles and he falls asleep as always hugging my arm.

Index:

Ahimi's ridiculous roommate agreement

- Ahimi wrote this bizarre little document (inspired by Big Bang Theory Sheldon's roommate agreement and just as ludicrous) about the dos and don'ts of owning a kitty a couple of weeks after we got Damon (yes, I was working full time, left the house at 5.30am and got home at 7.30pm OR left for work at 12pm and got home at 1.30AM, but that was just for a month before my contract ended and I started to work part-time).  I made it through only halfway and it was just so laughable and hypocritical and describing herself that I just stopped reading altogether... the one extract that stayed in my mind for its hippo-criticalism is this:

"I am not OBLIGED to clean cat shit as you are forgetting he is YOUR cat as you wanted. Just like you get first dibs on the "good stuff" like telling everybody the good news that he is your cat, you also get first dibs on the bad like litter duty."

Of course you're not.  But when I'm at work, feel free to let him run around with poopy pants as you wait for me to come home and clean it.  Chi-si.  You're at home, I'm not - am I supposed to take a train for 1 hr home to clean his butt?  Don't even make sense.

Um... I DIDN'T get the first dibs on telling anyone the good news (in case she forgot) because she already told every mutual friend we have that I was buying a cat, his colour etc etc until I also have nothing to tell anyone else (of course until I told her I was annoyed, for I didn't want to jump the gun and tell everyone until I actually GOT him!).  So... according to the agreement, does that mean you get first dibs on litter duty too? XP