Blast from the Past I

Many, many eons ago a friend of mine told me I should write a blog about our school years and obnoxious teachers that came and went.  I never liked posting stuff before, so I always said no... but things change.  My new post is the top few obnoxious teachers (in random order) that my friends and I still occasionally bitch about:

1.  Darth

Her name is not really Darth, obviously, but she is named rightly so, as she looks terribly like a mixture of Darth Maul from Star Wars Ep 1: The Phantom Menace (namely the part where Darth falls down the pit)...

Darth Maul

as well as like a hybrid human that could have stepped off the set of The Simpsons, with her huge googly eyes and Homer-like forehead on an emancipated frame.

The Simpsons

Being a shit teacher was an understatement.  She taught Additional Maths in our final year of high school, and she would turn to the board whenever she explained stuff, so her voice would be all muffled and no one could hear what the hell she was flapping her gums about. She was literally, teaching the blackboard.

She also liked to assign us equations to do, but the thing was, she didn't know how to do them herself.  She would come to ChocolateMuffin, one of my friends who was the smartest person in class (who sat across the aisle from me) and compare answers with her, and ask her how SHE solved the equations.  WTF!  If only our parents knew, a high school kid teaching the teacher how to do math, and the teacher getting paid thousands a year (we were in private school) to teach her.

Darth used to be livid when we would get crap marks, and scold everyone "Why don't you have the decency to go to tuition???"  Seriously.  If you weren't a crap teacher to begin with, we wouldn't NEED to waste extra money to go to tuition.  Our Add Maths class was taught by another teacher the year before, and everyone used to pass with flying colours, and Add Maths used to be so easy to understand.

So, I finally arranged to go to the private tuition of our Add Maths teacher from the year before.  And we weren't surprised on the first day we got there, to see half our class and the next-door class there too.  Fantastic.

Darth was ridiculously biased too.  Now how it worked in our school was that we had a roster of cleaning duty after school every day, and MerlinFan and I along with most of the girls were rostered on every Thursday (there were only eight girls in our entire class).  I swear I never see the rest of the class stay back at all to clean when they were rostered on, so every week, we would be cleaning a week's worth of rubbish.  Of course, the classroom would be the dirtiest on the Thursday, a whole week after it had been last cleaned.  So Darth would come in and get pissed off and scold the girls rostered on Thursday (namely us) and make us take 10 mins out of the class time to clean the bloody classroom.  This would happen almost every week.

Now us girls got sick of it, and one Thursday we decided NOT to clean and just go home like the boys.  And guess what... on the FRIDAY, Darth comes in and gets pissed off because the class is dirty.  And hoho... instead of scolding the boys who were rostered on the day, she turns to the roster, and today, decides to say "Who was rostered on the Thursday and didn't clean the classroom yesterday afternoon?"  

Surprise surprise, we were stuck cleaning the f***ing classroom AGAIN.  

How come when the class was dirty on the Thursday it was OUR fault because we were rostered on for the day?  And how come when it was dirty on the FRIDAY it was OUR fault too, for not cleaning the day before???

And being a student in Asian schools there's no talking back to the teacher.  Their motto is Harry Wormwood's quote in Matilda:  I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong and there's nothing you can do about it. 

Bitch.

And guess what.  When Scimitar goes to high school almost 10 years later, there she still is, as shitty a teacher as ever.

Revenge To the Sith

Random story.  One day Darth comes into the classroom and trips over some stupid little step into the classroom.  Everyone in the class bursts out laughing... Darth is livid with rage as she glares into the grinning faces of all her students and immediately assigns us pages of homework to do.

Another random story.  A year after we left high school MerlinFan and I happen to see Darth at our local hawker marketplace.  We pretend not to see or recognise her... as we walk away (grinning to each other) we hear her telling a family member who works as a teacher at the primary section of our school, how come we do not recognise her?  Our family member was so horrified she did not know what to say but just grinned nervously. 

LOL.  Correction.  We did recognise you.  We just pretended we didn't know you.